Sedikit kisah banyak makna

Sebentar saja sudah cukup. Setidaknya mari berbagi (lagi). Tentang berbagai pemikiran dan perdebatan. Tanpa ada penyesalan dan tak perlu banyak alasan, semua memang harus terbalaskan.

Ada kalanya moody ku tidak harus kamu atau kalian ketahui, karena dengan simpati yg kalian berikan hanya akan berakhir dengan tangisan. Bukan jalan keluar yg diinginkan.

Rindu bertemu dengan orang-orang baru. Mereka yang bahkan belum pernah kutatap matanya. Rindu dengan kisah murni dari bibir mereka yang mengakar menjadi suatu inspirasi. Kesan pertama selalu menimbulkan rasa penasaran hingga satu persatu dari mereka membuka obrolan dan aku hilang bersama orang-orang baru yang belum pernah kukenal. Pertemuan pertama selalu menarik, bertukar cerita, hobi, perjalanan hidup hingga asmara. Mereka selalu meninggalkan jejak dalam ingatan kecilku, yang kebanyakan selalu kutemui di kedai kopi, jalanan, taman, tempat nongkrong hingga toko buku. Mereka sederhana, tidak banyak tingkah, tidak banyak omong, tidak jarang pula beberapa dari mereka sangat jutek ketika menimpali beberapa omongan dari yang lain. Dan aku? Seperti biasa, menyiapkan kedua telingaku terbuka lebar dan sesekali menanggapi perkataan mereka. Mereka membuatku candu, bertemu dengan orang-orang baru. Banyak tau meskipun tidak banyak mengalami, begitulah aku, karena bertemu dengan orang-orang baru merupakan obat tersendiri bagiku. Aku harap aku bisa mengajak beberapa atau salah satu dari kalian untuk bertemu dengan mereka, meskipun aku tidak yakin mereka akan mengingatku dengan jelas seperti sebelumnya atau tidak. Ya, bisa kubilang ini sekedar ngobrol, tapi bermanfaat. Percayalah :)

Jika kalian adalah salah satu dari mereka, bersiaplah untuk bertemu denganku.

"Do not stop. Do not stop believing in yourself, in your dreams. Believe in everything you want even in times when you are uncertain of yourself. When you’re not sure if you can make it through but you know you still want it, whatever it may be, you need it. You need it so bad that suffering won’t even deter you. You are craving it, your goals, your dreams, your future. Don’t stop pulling through. We all fail, we all slip up, we all lay in the mud sometimes, we all think we’re are giving up by laying down and wishing we didn’t want it. But, no matter how hard we try, we still want it. That, that alone is what will give you it. The never ending image of that success and of that life that you could have. It is all you need. Do not stop. Do not let yourself down. If you can’t stop thinking about it, you will get up and you will try again. Just keep going."

Don’t stop believing in yourself - by Amy Kennedy.

So, i’m trying something different tonight. For some reason, i’m getting a little bit of inspiration to just write. No quotes, no pictures, just words on a blank sheet of paper.

i’ll admit that i’ve never been a writer. I’ve never been a person that’s totally comfortable writing about myself or about the things i’ve been through. Maybe it’s because i’m not totally comfortable with myself or maybe it’s because i have a really hard time just letting go and learning how to trust people. I feel like people get really frustrated with me because i have a really hard time letting people find out who i really am. Sometimes, i feel like if i give everything away- my thoughts, my fears, my feelings- that once that person decides to leave (which they always do at one point or another), i won’t have anything left to myself. I love my best friends, and i have no earthly idea what i would do without them, but they don’t know everything about me, and sometimes, it’s really hard because i want to feel like i can tell them everything.

There are still a ton of things that i have yet to learn, and for me, life is constantly showing me that i don’t know everything. I’m still learning. I’m still learning how to be a better person. And how to be a better friend. And i’m not perfect- far from it. It frustrates me when people think i’m perfect or that i try to act like i’m perfect i feel like people won’t respect you unless you have respect for yourself. People should love you for your heart, not because of what you look like or the things that you’ve done. If you show people your heart and how much you care about them, people will like you for you.

i'm trying; constantly trying- and struggling- to make sense out of this crazy world. There’s so many struggles and so many pressures that constantly weigh down on us.

Sometimes, i think that the stars are actually a huge connect-the-dot puzzle, and if we could only find the right pattern in which to connect them, then maybe we could figure out what they’re trying to tell us.

And i think that there is a different pattern for every living person, every person that has ever lived, and every person that will ever live.

So in a way, we’re all written into the night sky.

And we gaze up at the sky, lying beneath our fears and dreams, and futures, and if we could find the right pattern, we might be able to know where we’re supposed to be.

But the night sky is bigger than i can even begin to grasp, so i lay down on the damp summer grass amidst laughter, and i trace my finger along the brightest stars i can find, and i smile.

The stars can keep the burden of knowing where it is that i will end up, because i'm happy with where i'm right now.

When they twinkle, i think they’re winking at me, like they know something i don’t know, but i don’t mind.

Sometimes, i like being in the dark, and right now, i don’t mind at all.

Be contented.

Yes, there are people greater than her.

There are people who are more attractive, more intelligent, more caring, and more fortunate.

That’s life- full of temptations.

But don’t be deceived by those things.

Because didn’t you ever realize that there are people who are also greater than you?

Yet she chose you.

God causes things to happen at exactly the right time! Your job is not to figure out when, but to make up your mind that you won’t give up until you cross the finish line and are living in the radical, outrageous blessings of God! The more you trust and keep your eyes focused on Him, the more life you’ll have. Trusting God brings life. Believing brings rest. So stop trying to figure everything out, and let God be God  in your life. 

- Thats all i need to make me feel better... If i fall apart again then do this and i'll be happy.

Try being in a long distance relationship. Try having him listen to you cry, but not being able to be in his arms, and texting is his only way to comfort you because you’re literally 1,000 miles away and that’s all he can do.

Try seeing him over social media or Line, where sometimes the call drops and the quality isn’t great. Or how about planning a trip to go see him and maybe holiday? But wait, you can’t because you’re having financial issues.

Try explaining to your friends, try telling them why they can’t meet him. Don’t even think of planning dates, because you’ll be the only one attending them.

Try fighting with distance, that shit isn’t easy because you have even more distance on top of it.

Try sleeping alone every night after seeing his photos and videos.

Now that's the really hard type of relationship people always seem to forget about.

But there's always hope, you won't give up on each other.

Plot twist : i miss you jerk. i miss being in your arms.

Constantly torn between “treat others how you wanna be treated” and “treat others how they treat you". And worst feeling in the world is knowing you did the best you could, and it still wasn’t good enough.